Where to From Here?
When I finished Part 2 I wasn't sure what was coming next in Part 3... but then it was clear.
I needed to share my Number 1 Life Tip.
So, here it is.
The shower for me is my absolute sacred space. It is, if everything else fails, the place where I commit to coming back to me and making my every movement about loving myself and exploring how much more tender, gentle and loving I can be with myself. How much more of me is there to be expressed. To let go of any hardness. To remind myself that I am simply lovely.
I remember when my son was born and the absolute tenderness and delicateness in which I bathed him in, the way I dressed him, the way I gently moved his tiny legs, and hands, and so very very carefully put his clothing on him. His bath was run so that the temperature was just right. I had extra face washers to put over his body while he was in the bath to support him to feel warm, safe and secure. And I had his towels warmed, ready to wrap him up in at the end of the bath so that his body wasn’t shocked by the cool air when he came out of the warm bath.
Every movement was deliberate and conscious, ensuring that he was held and loved throughout the whole process. I knew how precious and sacred he was.
Then one day it occurred to me – why don’t I take this time and care with myself? Am I not as deserving of the love, care and attention that I gave to him? Am I not also this precious and sacred?
So I began to experiment with it. Setting the shower temperature just right before getting in. Having everything I needed, right there in the shower, right where I need it. Washing my body with the same delicateness and gentleness that I was washing my son with. Enjoying the feeling of the warm water running through my hair and over my body. Heating towels ready for me when I got out of the shower. Using every moment in the shower as an opportunity to just love me.
It was a bit rocky to start with – especially with a young babe always nearby, potentially crying because I’d had to put him down for a moment to get in the shower. But mostly it was my own thoughts, my own hurried-ness, my own desire to get on with something else and hurry through the shower as quick as I could, that made it rocky. My own lack of self-worth we could call it. There were (many) days where I ‘couldn’t be bothered’ with the warm towels, or even being present in the shower!, days where I rushed, days where thinking about what I had on that day and all of the things that I needed to achieve and get done were my priority and I didn’t give myself a look in.
Yet, even in all the rockiness and imperfectness, I was start to give myself space to be with me. I was giving myself the space to connect to myself, to love myself (even if at the time I didn’t feel particularly loving towards myself) and to nurture me.
And gradually, things began to shift.
What was happening was simple. This space in the day for me was opening me up more to what was already so naturally within me. It was giving me the space to connect to, and honour, me - as a woman. A moment in the day where I said ‘I’m a woman first, before I am anything else, and I deserve to be cared for’.
That space then allowed me to feel more of the love that I am. The consistency of doing this over time supported me to accept that I am that love, and not all of the other ideas/images/pictures that I held myself in.
What was magical about this was… what started as just a 5-10 minute (15 maybe!) shower, began to filter out to other areas of my life. What started as many days of forgetting my commitment to me in the shower, developed into days where I had not just committed to me being with me in the shower, but while I was washing the dishes, cleaning the house, at work, at the supermarket, in the car, while I was exercising – everywhere.
The love that I began to know myself as then expanded to me feeling how deeply beautiful, sensitive, lovely, tender, delicate, joyful, playful and super sassy I am. And did I mention sexy?
And to now, absolutely knowing without a doubt in my body, that there is not one single thing in this world that is more important than me honouring the woman that I am first and foremost.
From this, I am now more open, loving and steady as a mother. I am more focused, committed and ‘switched on’ at work. I am more honest, open and real in my relationships. I have so much more space in my day and am capable of doing more than I ever thought was possible. I don't need as much sleep and more often than not - I don't feel the need to check out at the end of the day with alcohol, TV or other. I don't need entertainment to stimulate me or music to 'take me on an emotional journey'. I am so very content being with me. And mostly, I know that I am completely imperfect with all of it and that that is very OK.
So… I encourage you to give it a try. There hasn’t been one person that I’ve suggested it to that hasn’t commented on how different their day (&/or their sleep) was by having given it a try.
With enormous thanks to Natalie Benhayon & Serge Benhayon for inspiring me to connect to and live the woman that I am.